the perfect latch

Disclaimer: If breastfeeding makes you uncomfortable then maybe don’t continue reading.

Side Note: If breastfeeding makes you uncomfortable then you’re the problem. Okay thanks, bye.

On to the perfect latch…

I’ve been extremely fortunate in the breastfeeding department. Save for a couple of weeks with my oldest where I was certain my nipples were surely going to fall off (I may have even hoped for this to happen at one point). I nursed my oldest son for 16 months and he would have gone much longer If I hadn’t begun the weening process. And so far with my littlest it’s been a dream. I don’t take this for granted and my heart truly aches for mommas who haven’t been able to breastfeed for one reason or another.

*I should clarify that my side note above isn’t directed at other mommas-but the folks who are not moms and think boobs for nursing are gross but boobs for sexual gratification are totally normal and cool. Just no. 

Okay back to the latch…

There are things that happen when nursing that make you cringe, make you laugh out loud, make you cry, and make you want to rip your hair out. And sometimes it looks a little something like this:

You hear your little one start to shuffle around and see him gnawing at his hands. You know it’s time to nurse. You grab the baby, whip out your boob and assume the position. But sometimes, even though they’ve done it correctly 100 times before, they just won’t latch. Their mouth is wide and searching like they’re a college kid on spring break at Senor Frogs looking for tequila. In your head (and sometimes out loud) you’re saying “It’s right there, just come on…my nipple is literally right in front of your face!” But then you look down and their face is covered in milk because your let-down (when the milk starts flowin’) is so strong that you’re squirting your baby in the face with breastmilk (hands in the air if your partner has ever gotten a shot to the face! Intentionally or not…HA!). So you regroup, and HE LATCHES. He’s suckling away and you’re proud that you’re able to give your baby all the nourishment he needs from your very own breasts. But then..DUN DUN DUN. Your phone is juuuuust out of reach. You know that if you try to reach it with either hand he’ll surely unlatch and then you’ll have to try again and he definitely won’t be having it the second time around and then you’ll have a fussy (read: wailing) baby for two hours. This is why we have partners you guys.

“Hey babe? Can you hand me my phone?” They look at you like your crazy because it’s inches from you but you JUST. CAN’T. RISK IT.

So you have your phone and your babe is nursing away and your scrolling social media wondering why you haven’t gotten more likes on that one adorable picture you just posted and you all of the sudden get SO THIRSTY it’s like you’ve never had a drink of water in your entire life and death is imminent unless you drink 8 glasses right now. Of course you forgot to refill your bottle though because, well, life with kids. Again…

“Hey babe? Could you get me some more water? I have to drink a lot of water to keep my supply up AKA feed our infant son AKA keep him alive. Okay thanks a bunch, love you!”.

And now he’s done eating, you burp him, and he spits up about a 1/3 of what he’s just sucked out of you. Ain’t it magical?!

Anyway-regardless of whether or not your baby is breastfed, formula fed or a mixture of both-you are winning at this whole parenthood thing because you’re doing what’s best for your baby and that’s something to be proud of. HAPPY NURSING/FEEDING MOMMAS! We got this.

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